Emma's Family Blog

It was a typical day for Karen Smith as she went to work where she taught as an elementary school teacher in San Bernardino, California.  Shortly after arriving, her life was cut short by her husband, Cedric Anderson. Smith was fatally shot in response to her leaving Anderson and the consideration of divorce (O’Hara, 2017).  According to the Violence Policy Center, about three women are murdered every day in the United States by a current or former intimate partner. Smith, unfortunately, falls into this jarring statistic.  (O’Hara, 2017).

This chilling and extremely disturbing behavior mirrors Cohen’s opening to family violence, or domestic abuse.  Cohen begins with a similar story as he describes a young and impoverished couple, Bernadette Powell and Herman Smith, living with two children (415).  For years, Smith had beaten her at the use of alcohol. Reportedly, one night Powell killed Smith in what she claimed to be an act of self defense (Cohen 415).  Unfortunately, the jury thought otherwise. In summary, they blamed Powell for not leaving Smith sooner. This story and trial sparked a cultural and political debate in regards to family violence, more specifically, intimate partner violence (Cohen 416).

It is important to note that Cohen delves into three different categories of family violence.  The first category is intimate partners. Because family boundaries may be hard to define, the term and concept of “intimate partners” include married spouses as well as romantic partners and individuals who consider themselves to be dating (Cohen 425).  Hence, intimate partner violence refers to violence or abuse between such partners. It is important to note that violence of this type can occur between current or former intimate partners (Cohen 425). The second category focuses on children. This encompasses biological children, stepchildren, foster children, or adopted children.  The third and final category refers to elders of which include older family members such as in-laws or parents (Cohen 424). With that being said, I will be examining the effects that intimate partner violence has on the family.

Cohen states that  intimacy and a care relationship are the two elements that are typically seen between a victim and a perpetrator (424).  Intimacy refers to people who love one another or know each other well and interact in private. A caring relationship, in this context, means that one party involved is responsible for the other’s well-being (Cohen 424).  Cohen further states that, “…when the relationships include dependencies of support and caring, the emotional stakes of violence and abuse may be higher, such as long-term psychological pain or even post-traumatic stress disorder” (424).

Referring back to the opening story, Karen Smith was killed because she left her husband and was seeking divorce.  Similarly, Bernadette Powell’s trial occurred after the termination of her marriage to Herman Smith. The jury involved in Powell’s trial questioned why she didn’t just leave if she was being hurt and abused by her husband.  Interestingly enough, Cohen highlights several reasons as to why such abuse at home between intimate partners goes unreported to the authorities. Between 2006 and 2010, roughly 17% of people reported that the police would not or could not assist in any way.  About 38% expressed a fear of reprisal or getting the perpetrator in trouble. Furthermore, 19% reported that they know how to deal with such behavior and personality while 10% think the abuse and violence is not important enough to report or seek help for. The remaining 16% of people report other reasons for no following through with a formal report to authorities (Cohen 427).  

Another aspect of intimate partner violence that is important to note refers to the the individuals, or demographic groups, most likely at risk for such violence.  Cohen reports that women, more specifically younger women, are most susceptible to rape or violence that causes personal injury. Furthermore, women with less education and suffering in poverty are more likely to experience abuse.  When intimate partners experience economic hardships or live in poverty, they are more likely to take out such stressors on one another in the form of violence or abuse (Cohen 429). In addition, intimate partners that struggle with drug and alcohol related problems are more likely to be involved in violent relationships.  Lastly, for most serious violence, women who leave their partners face great risk shortly after their departure (Cohen 429).

Referring back to the opening stories, Karen Smith was killed because she left her husband and was seeking divorce.  Similarly, Bernadette Powell’s trial occurred after her abduction and the termination of her marriage to Herman Smith.  The jury involved in Powell’s trial questioned why she didn’t just leave if she was being hurt and abused by her husband.  Clearly, both women were at great risk of facing violence and abuse. In addition to this, Powell faced extreme economic hardship as she did not graduate high school.  She struggled at home with two children as Smith failed as a mechanic. According to Cohen, their relationship was most susceptible to abuse due to the poverty that they lived in.  In summary, these individuals not only faced violence because of financial stability and choosing to leave the abuse behind, but simply because they are women.

One might argue that if an individual is too scared to leave, why not report the violence and bring it to an end where safety is right around the corner.  Cohen highlights several reasons as to why such abuse at home between intimate partners goes unreported to the authorities. Between 2006 and 2010, roughly 17% of people reported that the police would not or could not assist in any way.  About 38% expressed a fear of reprisal or getting the perpetrator in trouble. Furthermore, 19% reported that they know how to deal with such behavior and personality while 10% think the abuse and violence is not important enough to report or seek help for.  The remaining 16% of people report other reasons for no following through with a formal report to authorities (Cohen 427).

In addition to women being most susceptible to abuse, differences between racial-ethnic groups can contribute to intimate partner violence.  Reported violence is more common among African-Americans rather than the White population. According to the Justice Bureau statistics, African-American women are victimized by intimate partner violence at rates roughly 35% higher than white women (O’Hara 2017).  

Although intimate partner violence encompasses more forms of abuse other than murder, at an international viewpoint, women in the United States are twice as likely to be killed by a partner.  According to the Centers for Disease Control, more than half of the women who are murdered each year in the United States are killed by a partner. On the contrary, only about 24% of women in Europe fall into this statistic (Stahl 2018).  

Work Cited

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). “What Is Intimate Partner Violence?” YouTube. YouTube, 15 May 2018. Web. 09 Apr. 2019.

Cohen, P. N. (2015). The family: Diversity, inequality, and social change. New York: W.W. Norton & Company.

May, Lucy. “When Getting Ahead Means Getting Beaten.” WCPO. 04 Feb. 2017. Web. 09 Apr. 2019.

O’Hara, Mary Emily. “Domestic Violence’s Real Cost: Nearly Three Women Die Every Day.” NBCNews.com. NBCUniversal News Group, 2017. Web. 09 Apr. 2019.

Stahl, Aviva. “Family or Partners Kill Women in US Twice as Often as in Europe.” Women’s Media Center.  2018. Web. 09 Apr. 2019.

My name is Emma Rupert and I am a senior Actuarial Science major at Siena College.  I graduated from Shenendehowa High School in Clifton Park, NY.  About 72.6% of women were enrolled in college in 2015. Graduation Rate.  Here, at Siena College, I am a member of the Women’s Swimming and Diving team. For the last four years, I have spent most of my time training as a long distance swimmer.  I have thoroughly enjoyed being a part of a team that has not only pushed me to be successful in and out of the pool but has welcomed me with open arms each and everyday.

In my spare time, apart from class and swimming, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends, visiting my camp up in Schroon Lake, NY, cooking, baking, and shopping.  I also have a passion for exercising (obviously) and being outdoors. I am the oldest to a family of four, of which include myself (21), my brother, Zach (18), my mother, Tammy (51), and my father, Tom (53). Two other very important members of my family include my grandma, Susan, and her “friend,” Clay. My mom and I enjoy long walks outside over the spring and summer around my neighborhood. In addition my younger brother, Zach, is an avid hockey player.  My family bonds over attending his hockey games weekly during the season. Athleticism must run in the family!! Because just like my father, (as I mentioned) I am a collegiate athlete.  Tom played soccer for Potsdam. Only about 5.5% of male soccer players go on to play at the collegiate level while 7.4% of female swimmers go on to compete at the collegiate level. We are hoping Z will go onto play club hockey in college as well! NCAA Statistic

I am looking forward to moving to Boston, MA, this upcoming August.  I have a full time position as an actuarial analyst at Willis Towers Watson.  Willis Towers Watson is a consulting firm and I will be focused in the retirement line of operations.  This past summer, I lived at Northeastern University while I was an intern at Willis Towers Watson. I was randomly paired up with another intern for the summer and we grew to be great friends.  As a result of our new friendship, we decided to live together full-time! Currently, we are apartment hunting around Fenway in hopes to secure a nice apartment to live in this upcoming summer.   

As I mentioned before, I grew up in Clifton Park, NY! A nice 15 minute drive up the North-way so that Tammy can do my laundry on occasion. Again, I was the first born so pretty much every photo album laying around my house is filled with 90% Emma and 10% Zach, oh well! Just kidding, we love Z. I was an extremely shy and quiet child growing up, in fact, I always insisted that my grandma tell the waiter or waitress to not look or talk to me if we were out to lunch. Speaking of my grandma, Susan is the great lady who pretty much raised me. Tammy, a kindergarten teacher today, took leave to be with me for some time, however, grandma moved from New Jersey to be a “full-time grandma.” We did everything together – dress up, cards, movies, singing, dancing, building forts & playing pretend 24-7. We did have some company (before Zach came along). As the second blog post, “How do Sociologists Look at the Family” suggests, pets can be so loved that they are considered part of the family. This was certainly the case as I grew up. My dog, Tasha, was always around to play as well. She was the best – a great, loving and playful furry friend to grow up with. She was a beautiful Siberian Husky that my mother got as a housewarming gift to my father when they moved in together for the first time.  However, we do not have any pets currently. As one can guess, only a small portion of America DON’T own pets. About 32% of families fall in this category. Pets

So basically, let’s fast forward to when the stinker was born. Again, kidding – we love Z!! Zach was born when I was about 3. At first, I was unsure about him… but we became to be best buds. Similar to me, he was super shy. To much of my parents’ concern, I did most of the speaking for him when I came out of my shell. Eventually, so did he – thank gosh because being a translator was hard work!! To say the least, we were and still are inseparable.

Alright, fast forward one more time!! I had an amazing childhood for several reasons, one being the closeness between Zach and I. Again, Grandma and Grandpa always lived close by as we grew up. Family dinners, school functions, and sporting events were always loud and happy.  Unfortunately, things did not stay like this for long. Car rides became quiet, Christmas was dull, and daily activities were a chore. I was a freshman in high school when Tom and Tammy decided to get a divorce. As Tom and Tammy’s marriage ended in divorce; roughly 40-50% of US marriages end in divorce. Divorce Statistic.  Being that I was a thirteen-year-old girl, I was an excellent snooper and could find out most things on my own.  With this being said, I could see most things that were about to happen within the near future. At this point in time, Zach was only about ten years old. Being a very shy and emotional child, it was then when I took him under my wing, even more so than before, as he grew up. Silence ruled our lives for roughly three years until finally things started to look up.  Car rides became talkative again, Grandma came over more often, and birthdays were fun again. Yes, we did have two homes now, but absolutely one family. As of November 2016, 69% of US children under the age of 18 have two households. Two Households.  It was then, with time, age, and maturity, that I realized what selfless individual’s my parents are. Tom and Tammy went through a hard time, however, at the end of the tunnel, decided to make sure Zach and I lived a “normal” life and most importantly, went to bed with a smile on our face again.  To this day, Tom and Tammy are best friends and I wouldn’t change what I have at home for the world. I am the individual I am today not only because of the upbringing I had, but the experiences that I went through growing up.

The following is a short video that talks about children, parents & divorce: Children, Parents & Divorce.

In regards to the way that divorce affects children, I believe there is a bias amongst individual’s not involved in the situation. Cohen defines bias as, “the tendency to impose previously held views on the collection and interpretation of facts (25). In other words, I believe that it is easy for individual’s are judgmental in regards to such situations that involve divorce. It is unfortunately true that I have encountered this. My family and I have lost several friends because of what my family has been through. Furthermore, I think that most of this bias stems from symbolic interactionism. Symbolic interactionism is defined as, “a theory concerned with the ability of humans to see themselves through the eyes of others and to enact social roles based on others’ expectations,” (Cohen 21). In other words, individuals simply have certain expectations in regards to how other individual’s should behave or what roles they should be in. For example, married people have different roles than single people. The view of “parent” becomes different to the people involved in these roles. Like the old saying goes, “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” Essentially, the roles within my family changed drastically. My mom and dad were now single while Zach and I were the “kids with divorced parents.” Unfortunately I believe that too many people have a bias in which they think parents who are divorced dislike one another. It truly breaks my heart when people apologize for that fact that my parents are divorced. No – it is simply the way it is and I would not change it for the world. Most people, in addition, think it is “unorthodox” that my parents get along better than they did when they were married. I get it – it’s strange!! But would you want it any other way? I wouldn’t. I am going to end my rant by saying that Z and I agree that society’s “divorced kids” are more resourceful. Yes – that’s right, I said it. I am a class A snooper!! Ha – just kidding but also not really. Anyway, my point is that roles change with interaction and also when interaction adapts amongst people as evident in the text.

Another aspect that stood out to me was the way that the text defined the word, “family.” “Families are groups of related people, bound by connections that are biological, legal, or emotional (Cohen 4). Furthermore, the word “family” is broken up into personal and legal. Personal family is defined as “the people whom we feel related and who we expect to define us as members of their family as well (Cohen 6). This resonated with me extraordinarily. As mentioned earlier, Susan’s “friend,” Clay, is absolutely a part of my family. Clay entered the Rupert family picture when I was a shy six years old. He was there for all of Z’s childhood and loved and loves us unconditionally. It is so easy for me to (unfortunately) forget how long Clay has been around, simply because I have always considered him to be a Rupert. In addition, Clay’s children were also welcomed with warm hugs and kisses. Although not my aunt, uncle or cousin, these individuals are, like Clay, absolutely part of my personal family. On an interesting and silly aside – my father was part of a fraternity in college. To say the least, I have about 50 uncles – no joke. Growing up I was very confused as to why I had so many uncles who would come to visit during Saratoga Race Track season. Essentially, these are examples of Cohen’s personal family definition. On the contrary, legal family is defined by Cohen as, “a group of individuals related by birth, marriage, or adoption” (7). With this definition in mind, my immediate or legal family includes Tom, Tammy, Z, and myself.

Work Cited

American Psychological Association. American Psychological Association, n.d. Web. 30 Jan. 2019.

Facts + Statistics: Pet Statistics.” III. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Jan. 2019.

Smeyers@ncaa.org. “Estimated Probability of Competing in College Athletics.” NCAA.org – The Official Site of the NCAA. N.p., 23 Apr. 2018. Web. 30 Jan. 2019.

US Census Bureau. “The Majority of Children Live With Two Parents, Census Bureau Reports.” Census Bureau QuickFacts. United States Census Bureau, 10 Apr. 2018. Web. 30 Jan. 2019.

1: What Is Sociology?” Sociology of the Family. N.p., 11 July 2017. Web. 30 Jan. 2019.

2. How Do Sociologists Look at the Family?” Sociology of the Family. N.p., 11 July 2017. Web. 30 Jan. 2019.

69.7 Percent of 2016 High School Graduates Enrolled in College in October 2016.” U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 22 May 2017. Web. 30 Jan. 2019.